07 December 2012

Best moment of the day.

A young woman sighed deeply. "He's just so handsome! I can't look at him enough! And today is my last chance to stare at him all class!" This was the sound of her despair before class started.

She wasn't talking about me. She was talking about our teacher, Professor H. And the crush that she's had on him since the beginning of the semester. As she mourns the nighness (that's not a word) of the end of the semester, she continues to say "I just want to stare at him all the time!" She peters out mid-sentence as she catches sight of Professor H. (who had just walked in) as he walked into the room.

She was not speaking quietly.

Professor H. looks confusedly, as we all start ROARING with laughter. Professor H. suddenly comes back from the world of his brain. He looks at us confusedly and says "What? What just happened?" Which only has us laughing more.

The following facebook conversation ensued (Can you tell which one came first for my practicing? It only gets better from here.) Colors coordinate cross-conversation. I'm brown.

06 December 2012

The deaf man.

Story time:
My companion and I were doing our English tracting. Meaning, we wandered around and put tracts for the free English classes in mailboxes. As we were going down a street putting tracts in boxes, we saw a small apartment complex with a superintendent (kind of. A “guanliyuan”) out in the office guarding the gate to get in.

There were some guanliyuans who would let us put the flyers in the mailboxes of their apartment complexes (or dalous) if you asked, or at least let you put a stack of them out on the counter for residents to grab if they were interested.

So we pull up at this dalou, and since I was new, I just start putting these little flyers in the mailboxes. My companion starts on the other side. After we get probably 15 of the 30 done, the guanliyuan notices us and starts signaling at us to stop. My companion starts explaining to him what we’re doing, but then the guy starts trying to sign to us, as if he’s deaf.

Granted, we both started to trust him about it because he wouldn’t talk. But we’re still a little wary. He walks out of his little office and grabs all the English tracts out of the mailboxes and throwing them at us and on the ground. My companion starts to get defensive and picks them up. The man kind of ignores him, but waves and points at his own ears every time my companion talks.

My companion was standing directly behind him.

At about this point, the guanliyuan’s friend shows up and starts calling his name. The guanliyuan turns around to look at the guy, and talks to him. Mr. Guanliyuan waves frantically at him to get him to stop talking. Mr. Friend says “Why are you acting so weird? What’s wrong?” Mr. Guanliyuan mumbles “Later.” Or some equivalent to his friend. His friend gets all confused and is like “umm… okay? Weirdo.”

We walk away as Mr. Friend walks into Mr. Guanliyuan’s office. We get on our bikes and ride away to the sounds of two friends laughing together and chatting from the building behind us.

Many confused looks were exchanged that day.

18 November 2012

Long time no see!

So, I don't know if anyone still comes around here ever. But I'm still alive and kicking.

What have I been up to, you ask? Oh wait, you didn't ask? That's okay, because I'll tell you anyways!

I got home from the mish about 4 months ago (July 3rd, to be exact). At that point, I immediately (Seriously. July 5th) started school (an online class).

And now I'm back in the full swing of it. I'm at (My State) State University, studying Accountancy. I'm also going to get a minor in Chinese, because it's easy, and after next semester is over, I'll only need 6 more credits for it in the next 2 years.

I was doing engineering before, but I realized that I didn't really care about it or find it that interesting, so I left and went to the business school. I think it was a good decision so far. Now, if only I could force myself to actually study. That would be really good.

Other than that, I'm just working for my parents a little bit. Livin' at home, not really doin' anything. You know, the RRM (Recently Returned Missionary) life. But yeah. It's a good gig.

That's about me. What about you? (Once again, if you're still around to read any of this. Not to sound desperate or anything, but if no one replies to this, I'll just write in my journal. It's a better place to write to myself if no one is interested.)

And if you do want, I'll keep y'all updated on what I'm up to, some of my favorite mission stories (I promise. You'll never meet funnier people than Taiwanese ones) and anything that catches my interest (like the whole Apple-Google-Samsung-Motorola-Microsoft debacle. I'm a tech nerd. What can I say?)

19 May 2010

In which i tells you about the 100 Hour Board

100 Hour Board

I promised you all a while ago that I would post about the 100 hour board, remember? Yeah, well here's that post.

Much of my online presence today is due to this website. I kind of love it, and all the writers (and most of the readers!) for it as well. Here's the gist: You ask a question, and 100 hours later, the answer will post at that link above. Ever wondered what alligator poop looks like? They've got you covered. Do you have a desire for a music playlist? Just ask Claudio, HFAC (Hey! it's Foreman And Claudio!), Foreman, Cognoscente, or any of the other writers and they can give you awesome recommendations (not that I necessarily listen to that kind of music, but... yeah.)

On the more serious side, FNA gave a great dissertation on LDS views on other religions. There are also allllll sorts of questions about relationships.

It's 100% free, so if you have any questions that you want to know the answer to, but are too lazy to find out for yourself, go to the Board! They are awesome. And I'm their favorite.

Since 1/2 of my readers already read the board, this one is directed specifically at the other 2 of you. [ =

18 May 2010

The Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites Review

Skip reading this post. It's the same one as below, just reposted to move up the page rankings.

the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites
Alas, not everything about our trip was as wonderful as Portillo's (deep sigh).
When we went to Nauvoo, we arrived at approximately 5:30, just in time for the last session at the temple at 6:00. We got out about 7:30, and went to our hotel, the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites.
At any point that you get bored, feel free to skip to the tl;dr. It's in red below. But I encourage you to read, even though it's very long, just so that you know I'm not crazy.
the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites
We checked in to our room (during which time they specified that they wanted the keys back, to save themselves money, presumably), and went to it. While Mother sought to relieve her bowels, I sat on the bed (which had a gross bed spread wanna be thing on it. It was like a piece of the bed spread pattern, with our the cushioning). Normally, I wouldn't tell you about our restroom habits, but in this case, it was the beginning of a not fun experience.
Mother desired to clear the contents of the toilet bowl, so she pushed down the handle. The water level rose up then lowered back down, leaving her bodily expulsions in the bowl. She tried this three more times, with the same result each time. At this point, she came out of the restroom, rightfully upset. As we went out to our car, she informed the girl (she wasn't a lady, so I can't call her a young lady as I normally would) that the toilet hadn't flushed, and someone needed to go fix it for her. Politely, of course. Front Desk Girl (henceforth FDG) said, and I quote, "I'll try to find someone to take care of that for you." Try? Really? You'll try to find someone to take care of that for me? Thanks so much, FDG.
the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites
We went down the street for dinner (As a side note, every restaurant except one closes by 8:00, and that one closes at 8:30). We made it to the very last restaurant open. It was pretty decent, although it was terribly overpriced ($4.15 for a bowl of stew? It wasn't even a big bowl! It was like styrofoam paper bowl sized! In fact, that's exactly what it was.) The food was good, however, so they don't deserve too much complaining from me.
We get back to our room, and fortunately, our toilet troubles have been taken care of. At this point, neither of us is exactly happy to be in the hotel. There's just something about it that feels gross. We think that the carpet hadn't been vacuumed for a loooong time. We quickly change into out pajamas and go to sleep in our respective beds (which had very very very scratchy sheets. They weren't soft at all). This is approximately 10:00 PM.
the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites
Round about 11:20 PM, we hear people banging outside the door, trying to get in. Mother gets up and goes to look out the peephole, and sees a young couple trying to get in to our room with their key card and everything. Fortunately, Mother had deadbolted the door, otherwise we would have had some very unwelcome visitors. Because their keycards did, in fact, work. They had been assigned the same room as us. Yeah. Seriously.
25 minutes later, we hear a knock on the door again. This time, both Mother and I get out of bed. "Who is it", she asks. "Housekeeping", comes the reply. "It's friggin' midnight? Why are you knocking on my door?" she questions, not entirely happily. "I just was checking to see if someone really was in here" he says back.
No CRAP, moron. You really think that your other customers lied to you because they didn't want to come in room 109? You are so full of crap. And a knock at the door, too? And 25 minutes later? (During which time we had both fallen back asleep).
At approximately 6:00 AM, we both wake up to a baby crying. The walls could not have been more than, oh, 2 inches thick. We heard EVERY. SINGLE. THING. that our neighbors did. And we were right across from the pool and screaming kids as well, although the screaming kids weren't necessarily the hotel's fault.
By 7:30, we were both up, showered, dressed, and packed. At this point, it was hard to even be willing to take a breath. There was just something so gross/bad about the place that made it not even pleasant to be in.
Mother sent me out to put the suitcases in the car while she checked out. Apparently, when they checked her out, they must have asked her how her stay was, and she must've told them it was bad, because the FDG (who might have been a different one. I'm not sure) apologized for the loud teenagers. My mother quickly corrected her, saying that we hadn't even known there were teenagers (very impressive, considering there were 124 of them, according to FDG), and then enumerating our various issues that we had had. You know what FDG did? Gave us TEN WHOLE DOLLARS off of our $110 room. Woop de freaking doo.
the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites
(Later, Mother told the FDG at another hotel about our experience, and the girl said "They gave you your room for free, right?" Nope, sorry. They didn't. "Oh," said FDG. "That's what we would have done at our hotel, and I'm pretty sure it's industry standard." Greeeeeaaaat, we thought to ourselves.)
the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites
the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites
Anyway, long story short: Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites is an absolutely TERRIBLE place to stay. The rooms weren't clean, the workers were rude and not helpful, and they suffered something terrible from disorganization. Not a bueno experience at all. Oh, and did I mention that everything was cheap? Cheap TV, cheap alarm clock, cheap wannabe comforters, cheap cups, cheap shampoo (it came in a little packet like mustard. And we only got one of them. And we have two people in our room. Uh, hello?), cheap iron and ironing board (I seriously wouldn't have wanted to iron anything using it.), cheap/low quality EVERYTHING.
the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites
Long story short, it was a terrrrrrible experience, and I would never, ever, ever stay there again. And you should all link to this post, or share it, or something, so that we get the word out. Because they were really that bad that they deserve to have their business knocked down.
Link to this post! Oh, PS the reason it says "the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites" so much is so that this post can move up the Google rankings enough to affect their business. Heck, I think I'm going to repost it, so forgive the double post.
the Nauvoo Family Inn and Suites

13 April 2010

In which i decides which Disney Princess is best (And by best, he means most marriageable)

This post was inspired by a friend's facebook status update.

Belle: nice and smart and a little odd. She's a brunette. Her dad is annoying, and so is her stalker, Gaston. I'm assuming she is no longer married to Prince Adam at this point, which means she either has comittment issues, or she's a widow, which either way is a negative thing. Overall, she's got a (7/10).

Ariel: she's a redhead. But her hair is actually red, not orangey like I actually like. She's no longer married to Prince Eric, which is a negative for the same reason as Belle. She is a little flighty and pretends to talk to animals, which basically equates to talking to yourself. She comes her hair with forks, and collects everyday utensils. She doesn't always have feet, and there's just something a little fishy about her. Overall rating: (4/10).

Aurora: I dunno what's up with her. She just seems kind of dense. Blondeness is not really a good thing, and she always has those opalescent fly things buzzing around her head. She has previously fallen into severe comas in the past, for no apparent reason. Maybe she's a hemophiliac and it was because of severe blood loss? Either way, I don't want that in my gene pool. She is kind of a slut- "I'll only wake up if someone handsome kisses me blah blah blah". I mean, come on? Really? She's going to expect me to make her an enchanted castle to live in, since Phillip probably got to keep the house in the divorce. And I'd rather go on vacation than live in a giant house. Overall: (2/10)

Cinderella: She's kinda cute, and a really hard worker. She puts up with too much crap from people, though, and doesn't ever stand up for herself. She has to have a fairy godmother primp and prep her in order to feel like she's actually worth something, which is a huge drawback. She's also no longer married to her prince. I don't necessarily know his name, though. Prince Charming, maybe? She has tiny feet, which may balance out my ginormous feet in our genetic future. Her biggest drawback is that she's dependent on someone else for everything- she can't make her own dress and has to get animals to do it, she can't get to the ball on her own, etc. etc. Also, she's blonde, which isn't really a good thing. (5/10)

Mulan: Mmm... this chick is pretty cool. She saves a whole country from ruin, death, despair, and destruction. She's got black hair, which is probably my second favorite hair color. She's Chinese, which holds a near and dear place in my heart. But she's disobedient to her father, and doesn't necessarily follow social norms about the woman's place in society. Not that that is of necessity a terrible thing, but it's not exactly a plus in my eyes either. I do value her independence from the men in her life. She's got a nice family that has no serious issues, and her grandma is really funny. She's also got that little annoying dragon thing, Mushu, that could possibly get on my nerves. But she's probably earned the most respect for herself through her actions as opposed to her marriage. Also, she was never married and therefore divorced. (9/10)

Tiana: She's independent too, and she's from the south. She's really pretty, although I'm not sure that I want her to fall for me. After all, at one point she fell for a frog. She makes awesome beignets, by all accounts. And cooks well in general to boot. She is adventurous, and wants to pursue her dreams. She was married at one point, which makes it a little bit difficult to actually like her. She is the unfortunate victim of voodoo, but still pursues Prince Naveen (spelling on that?) anyway. More accurately, she doesn't really pursue him, but she falls for him. She likes Naveen, who plays a lot of instruments. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that therefore she likes multi-musically-instrumented-talented people, which I definitely qualify as. (8/10)

Snow White: suffers from narcolepsy. Also, she is veeeeery naive, and will do anything that someone wants her to do, even if she doesn't know them. (also, I avoided splitting the infinitive to do.) She has the same issue as Aurora, which would be a drawback for copying her, except Snow White came first. She obviously likes shorter men (see: dwarfs), which would not do for me, since I'm approximately 6' 3". She's got dark hair, but I prefer... not her type of hair. Some girls can pull off the short hair thing, but her's is in that awkward halfway stage between short and long. And it's not becoming on her. And kind of reminds me of my Senior AP English teacher (who hated me. And the feeling was mutual.) Also, I never really liked her movie. I always thought it was kind of boring. (1/10)

Jasmine: You know, lots of people loved Jasmine/Aladdin. But not me. I was never really a fan of the whole idea. Sure, Genie is great, but I thought that the movie was lame. Not to judge a girl by her movie, but I'm sure there's someone else out there who wants her ham more than I do. So I'll pass on this girl. I'm sure she's nice, and she appreciates a guy who sings, but she's just not the one for me. Also, she's immodest. (also, this week was probably not the best time to link to the 100 hour board. I promise I'll talk about it later when they're feeling okay and not doing the "borg" thing. Then I'll introduce you to the awesomeness that is the board.) (PASS)

Pocahontas: Umm... Not really a fan of this girl either. She sings to trees and stuff, and isn't loyal to her family. I understand that she really really liked John Smith, but her father had specifically asked her several times to stay away from him. And gave good reasons too. Also, her talking to inanimate objects kind of isn't so appealing to me. (also, I used the word magnanimous in a conversation the other day. It was awesome.) I'm not sure that I would like her. I mean, I love nature and stuff, but I don't really want a raccoon wandering around my house. Can you tell that I'm getting bored of typing these by this point? Because I am. Probably because I started with the princesses whose movies I'd actually seen within recent memory, and am now to the ones that I don't care about. (3/10)

23 March 2010

3rd post of the day

est Friends Forever!

Alright, gang. I have a question for you.

What makes someone one of your best friends? Is it the number of inside jokes together? What number? Is it how often you text each other? How many texts? Is it how much time you spend together in a certain period? Or is it something else entirely?

For me, I came up with this idea: (I'm very picky about who I consider my best friends, so this works for me, but might not work for you.)

Yes, I did come up with something original for my blog, as opposed to shamelessly ripping off someone else.

In reality, though, I think I only have (by this definition) a max of maaaybe five best friends. An alternate way of thinking would be "how many people would you tell?" but for me, at least, I would tell more people than would tell me, which is how I decided which direction to pick.

How many best friends do you have? How did you decide who your best friends were? How many best friends would you have if you went by my method?

And I really do want answers to this question. If you comment here, it counts as two comments in the charity giveaway! (OMGoodness! 2 comments=2 entries + 2/9 of the way to another dollar donated! Woohoo!)